Heathcote Barbary

( ... )

[Warded to Kirley & Orsino]
I'm trapped...in my own home...well, Gideon's own home that we both live in!

SAVE ME!

The zebra keeps staring at me. I think he's plotting something. Don't trust zebras, kiddos. They'll eat your face...or your toast.

[Warded to Matty]
How's things with you, kiddo?

[Warded to Gideon]
I'm going to miss her being there. If you can't guess who, you're dumb.

Also...let's do something potentially reckless. I'm bored.

I should be sleeping...Too tired for this bullshit.

Gideon, tell your damn zebra not to eat my toast.

Also...

Well, I don't actually know. My head hurts a little too much to think...Potion needs to kick in, please and thank you.

I've gotten myself a miniature hot air balloon sort of thing. I got bored and made it...Now to make it fly. Maybe I can start delivering sweets in it around the house. What do you think, Gids? Sweets?

[Warded to friends]
I'm taking this moment to start being careful about what I say publicly. Mostly because it's bloody likely they're watching what we say. They being the Ministry. I won't be much help if they decide to make me a prisoner for speaking out against them, yeah?

[Private]
This is fucked.

There are a lot of distressed school children out there it seems. I suppose I can't encourage all of them to become musicians. I don't want to deal with too much competition. Then again, I have the entire world of muggle musicians to compete with. Don't worry kiddos. You'll miss school once you're in the real world...if you're not a musician. I quite enjoy being out of school.

Onto other topics. I- One moment. Pause this journaling for a brief second.

( Warded to Penelope Clearwater )

Anyway...Where were we? Oh! Yes. Other topics! The charity for Snidgets turned out to be a lovely event. Lots of wonderful people and levitation. I most certainly didn't levitate a paper airplane into Myron's temple. It wasn't me. I will deny it until I am dead I hope others enjoyed it greatly.

(ooc: Because I am a bad mun, just backdate this to the 17th)

This is turning out to be not as bad as I thought. I am not dead and I got more sex we have actually not been having a bad time. Gideon's gotten fatter since we got here. It's all the food he's eating.

Have you guys figured out where we are yet? We have.

Gideon. Clean up. I'm too tired to clean.

I think Cassius got into the alcohol...or...into something. He keeps acting weird...or maybe he's just fallen in love with Myron. All those zebra kisses and junk.

Myron, if you're going to court Cassius, do let us know beforehand. We enforce a strict curfew.

Ri...I am going to guess this discolouration on my left arm is because of you.

In other words, lovely party. Glad to be awesome. Happy birthday Myron. I'm going back to sleep.

[Warded to Weird Sisters (but NOT Myron), Riona, Bee, and Bridie]
It has recently (and this dissapoints me) come to my attention that Myron's birthday is Monday. MONDAY, PEOPLE!!!!

Do we have something PLANNED?! WE CANNOT LEAVE THIS AS AN UNPLANNED EVENT! WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME ARE WE DOING?!

It is upsetting to me, that ugly, unfortunately jealous women with absolutely horrible fact checkers (Really, Skeets, where do you get them? I'd fire them if I were you.) see the need to stick their nose in everyone else's life.

I, for one, would like to help you in your cause. Your cause being getting fucking laid. Then you might not be so utterly obnoxious to everyone to ever exist.

So...any of you...whatever you may look like blokes out there with you intense love for Skeets here (or maybe charitable hearts is what we are looking for because this is a charity case after all) that want to help a lady with her lack of sex problem...PLEASE APPLY BELOW.


Skeets. Do tell me if I need to include ladies in my application process.